SMART INDIAN. . . . . .

An Indian man walks into the New York City bank and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the Loan Officer that he was going to India for some business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The Loan Officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan.
So the Indian man hands over the keys and the documents of the new Ferrari car parked on the street in front of the bank.
The loan officer consults the president of the bank,
Produces all the required items and everything check out to be OK.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as a security for the loan.
The bank president and the Loan Officer had a good laugh at the Indian
For keeping a $750,000Ferrari as a security and taking only $5,000has a loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari Into the banks underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later the Indian returns and pays $5000and the interest which comes to it $15.41.
Seeing this, loan officer says,
“Sir, we are very happy to have your business
And this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you are away, we checked you out and
Found out that you were a multi millionaire.
What puzzled us was why would you bother to borrow $5000?”
The Indian replies
"Where else in the New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks and
For only $15.41and expect it to be there when I return".
This is a true incident and the



Indian is none other than






Vijay Mallya

Typical Human Mind

Software Thirukural

Funny story

Inzamaam, a Pakistani child, entered his classroom on the first day of school in Ohio (USA)

"What is your name?" - asked the teacher.

"Inzamaam ". . .. - answered the kid.

"You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny,"-replied the teacher.

In the evening, Inzamaam returned home. "How was your day, Inzamaam?"- asked his mother.

"My name is not Inzamaam. I'm in America and now my name is Johnny."

"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"- and she beat him. Then she called his father and he too beat him.

The next day Inzamaam returned to school..

When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happenedm to you little Johnny"?

Well madam, 4 hours after I became an American, I was attacked by two Pakistanis."

Police Dog

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink..

Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'

The blonde said it was hers.

'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.

The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'

The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.'

'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.'

The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'

(Your gonna love this)


The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'

Rock Salt or Sea Salt.

STRESS RELIEF. Is salt bad for hypertensive?

What is bad for hypertension is iodized salt, which is a fake salt. It is made up of only 3 synthetic chemicals, sodium, chloride, iodine. It does not melt in water (glistens like diamonds), does NOT melt in the body, does not melt in the kidneys, gives kidney stones, and raises blood pressure. However, it is the salt favored by the synthetic drug-based doctors who say it is very clean and sanitary, pointing to
how white it is and how it glistens like diamonds. The fake salt is man-made in a factory. The true salt, which comes from the sea and dried under the sun and commonly called rock salt , has 72 natural minerals including natural sodium, chloride, iodine. It melts in water, melts in your body, melts in the kidneys, do not give kidney stones, and best of all brings down blood pressure and stops/prevents muscle cramps, numbness, tingling.

If you get muscle cramps in the lower legs at night, just take ½ teaspoon of rock salt and a glass of water, and the cramps with its horrific pain will be gone in 5 minutes. The highest BP that came my way was in a woman who had a BP of 240/140 and came to my house at 10:30 pm on what she said was a matter of "life and death" because the high BP was already giving her a crushing headache, especially the back of her head. She could not walk up the 6 shallow steps to my
porch. Two men had to help her, one on each side, in addition to the cane that she needed to prop herself up.

I muscle tested her and found that underlying her BP of 240/140 and the crushing pain in the head, her body's water content was only 6% (normal is 75%), salt content was zero, potassium was 96% deficient, and cardiac output (blood flow from the heart) was only 40% (normal is 100%). So the blood supply to the head was 60% deficient.

I gave her one 6" long green sili (hot pepper), 1 raw ripe saba
banana, 1/2 teaspoon of rock salt and 3 8-oz glasses of tap water. The sili was to normalize cardiac output and shoot blood to the head, the saba banana was for the potassium deficiency and to have food in the stomach because pepper will give a stomach ache if the stomach is empty, and the rock salt and the water were the first aid for her severe dehydration which was causing her arteries to be dry and stiff
and her blood to be thick and sticky, because they were dehydrated.

After 5 minutes, she said, "The pain in my head is gone." We took her BP, it was 115/75, and cardiac output was up to 100%.

She walked out of the house to her car without the men helping her and without the cane.

She has been taking 2.5 teaspoons of rock salt, 15 glasses of water, 6 Saba bananas and 3 of the long pepper daily since then (beginning September 2009), and her BP and cardiac output have been normal since then.

Two months later, in November, at a PCAM round table forum on hypertension in Club Filipino, she gave her testimony, followed by her brother who said that she grew 2", because the salt and the water had refilled her compressed disc spaces in her vertebral column. The disc spaces had become compressed because they had become dehydrated since the fluid filling up these discs are 95% water.

Why salt? Because without salt the body cannot retain water no matter how much water is drunk. You will still be dehydrated because you will just keep urinating and sweating the water out.

This is not an isolated case. When BP is rising high but there is little or no headache but there is stiffness of shoulder and neck muscles, all you need to normalize the BP and remove the stiffness and the pain in 5 minutes is 1/2 teaspoon of rock salt and 3 glasses of water. If there is crushing pain in the head, it means blood supply to the head is lacking, and you will need the sili to normalize it and shoot blood to the head and remove the extreme pain.

KNOWLEDGE IS AMUSING

[1] FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).

[2] POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened.

[3] MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.

[4] BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.

[5] DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped..

[6] NEWS refers to information from Four directions
N, E, W, and S.

[7] AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.

[8] QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest..


[9] JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.

[10] TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.

[11] JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'.GP was changed into JEEP later.

[12] Coca-Cola was originally green.

[13] The most common name in the world is Mohammed..

[14] The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with Asia, America, Australia, Europe

[15] The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

[16] TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

[17] Women BLINK nearly twice as much as men!!

[18] You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

[19] It is impossible to lick your elbow.


[20] Wearing HEADPHONES for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

[21] It is physically impossible for PIGS to look up into the sky.

[22] The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

[23] Each KING in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.


Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

[24] What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All invented by women.

[25] A CROCODILE cannot stick its tongue out.

[26] A SNAIL can sleep for three years.

[27] All POLAR BEARS are left handed.

[28] BUTTERFLIES taste with their feet.

[29] ELEPHANTS are the only animals that can't jump.

[30] In the last 4000 years, no new ANIMALS have been domesticated.

[31] STEWARDESSES is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

[32] The human HEART creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

[33] RATS multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

[34] People say "BLESS YOU" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

[35] If you SNEEZE too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
So good to bless sneezing person

THE SECOND CHANCE

It was 13th August 2008. Neeta was waiting for her husband Simon. It was their marriage anniversary. Things had changed since their marriage. From cute couple they turned into a fighting one. They quarreled everyday on every small thing. Neeta gave up thinking that Simon must have forgotten their anniversary and surely won’t be back home on time.

Simon too didn’t like how the things were going. She was so loving, so caring before marriage how everything got changed so radically. Yet they still love each other.

It was 4:00 p.m. The bell rang. Neeta was surprisingly happy... Simon finally remembered... She ran to open the door. Indeed Simon was standing outside. He was smiling and had a bunch of flowers at his hand. The two then started reliving their beautiful days, making up for their quarrels. There was champagne, light music and it was raining a little outside.. Overall the weather too seemed to get romantic along with them.

But the moment came to a slight pause.. The phone in the bedroom was ringing.. Quite agitated Neeta went to pick up the phone. It was a man on the other side...” Hello madam I am calling from the police station. Is it Mr Simon Malhotra’s number???”

“Yeah, it is”

There was an accident and a Man. died. We got your number from the man’s purse.We need you to come here and identify the body..”

Neeta’s heart sank. “Whhhhaaat?? B-but my husband is here with me?”

“Sorry madam the accident took place at 3:00 p.m when the man was trying to board a bus”.

Neeta was about to lose her senses. How could this happen? She knew this type of things. She had heard about this. The soul of the person comes to meet you before it parts..She ran to the drawing room.. Simon was not there... It is true? Has something that bad really happened to Simon??? Has he left her forever??Oh God...had she been given another chance ...she would have mended all her faults... She rolled down on the floor awe struck.

Suddenly there was noise from the bathroom.. Simon came out ...” I forgot to tell u dear my purse was stolen while I was returning home...”
Life might not give u a second chance.....So never waste a moment when u can make up for your deeds.

Live, Laugh, Love, Forget, Forgive :)

ATTITUDE IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.......

1. SOLDIER : SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES ,
MAJOR: EXCELLENT! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.

2. EVERY ONE KNOWS ABOUT ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WHO INVENTED THE
TELEPHONE, BUT HE NEVER MADE A CALL TO HIS FAMILY. BECAUSE, HIS
WIFE AND DAUGHTER WERE DEAF. THAT’S LIFE “LIVE FOR OTHERS “.

3. THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE
IT. THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS " BECAUSE IT TEACHES
YOU EVERYTHING AND, WHEN YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.

4. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE ........
IT’S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK.

5. IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE..A LIFE ENDS. IF
AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN.......LIFE BEGINS.
GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN.
6. IT’S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE. THAN
TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE....... BECAUSE OF EGO.

7. A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T SHINE BY JUST SHAKING HANDS
AT THE BEST OF TIMES. BUT IT BLOSSOMS BY HOLDING FIRMLY
IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS.

8. HEATED GOLD BECOMES ORNAMENTS. BEATEN COPPER BECOMES WIRES.
DEPLETED STONE BECOMES STATUE. SO, THE MORE PAIN YOU GET IN
YOUR LIFE THE MORE VALUABLE YOU BECOME.
9. WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT
ANY DOUBT....... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO :
EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON .
10. WHY WE HAVE SO MANY TEMPLES, IF GOD IS EVERYWHERE ?
A WISE MAN SAID: AIR IS EVERYWHERE, BUT WE STILL NEED A FAN TO FEEL IT.

BASTAR......

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )
GIRL: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!