Just celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary .
The next day I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE AND SAID,
"HONEY“ 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD
A CHEAP APARTMENT,
A CHEAP CAR,
SLEPT ON SOFA BED ANDWATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV,
BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD "
"NOW WE HAVE
A $500,000.00 HOME,
A $45,000.00 CAR,
NICE BIG BED AND
PLASMA SCREEN TV,
BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A
50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.
IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."
MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN :
SHE TOLD ME
" PLEASE GO & FIND A HOT 25-YEAR OLD,
AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT ONCE AGAIN
you will
BE LIVING IN ACHEAP APARTMENT,
DRIVING A CHEAP CAR
SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND
WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
AREN'T Wives GREAT ?
THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Strictly for you
Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5'-7", 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
**************************************************
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed..
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
********** ********************************************
Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
*******************************************************
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.
************************************************************
Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.
********************************************************
Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.
*******************************************************
Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, i'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!
********************************************************
Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints... --
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5'-7", 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
**************************************************
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed..
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
********** ********************************************
Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
*******************************************************
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.
************************************************************
Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.
********************************************************
Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.
*******************************************************
Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, i'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!
********************************************************
Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints... --
Little home remedies In Daily Life - useful
This one is for the ladies and guys who cook.
( Like me !!!!!!! )
________________________________________
Little Secrets In Daily Life
Keeping tofu firm
In the cooking process, soft tofu is very easy to break into pieces. If you want to maintain the integrity of tofu, you can soak it in salt water for about 30 minutes before cooking.
Soup is too salty
If this happens, the remedy is to add cooked potato pieces for few minutes. The potato will absorb the salt. Before soup is served remove the potatoes.
Soak a little vinegar before cutting yam/taros
Cutting taro can make your hands itching. Soaking your hands in vinegar before cutting taros will prevent itching.
How to remove the wax from an apple?
If you often eat apples with their skin, then you would need to remove the wax first before eating ....
(a) place the apple into hot water, the apple's wax will vanish.
(b) Apply toothpaste on the apple to clean out the wax.
How to make good rice?
After washing rice in water, add a few drops of lemon juice, (or a few drops of oil), cooked rice will turn out good and fragrant.
How to keep biscuits crispy?
When storing biscuits in a container, put a sugar cube in it at the same time. As the sugar absorbs the moisture in the container, biscuits or cookies can remain crispy and delicious.
What can be done if clothing stains with ink?
If ink gets on your clothing or fabric, you can use cooked rice or paste with a little detergent to remove the stain. Use your fingers to smear repeatedly on the spot, stain can be removed quickly. Then soak it into fresh water with ordinary cleaning agent for a period of time before washing.
How to treat smelly shoes?
Put a small amount of baking soda directly into the boots, sneakers or shoes, that are obviously smelly due to dampness. Baking soda powder has the effect of absorbing moisture and odor.
Ring around the collar, or spotty under the armpit area of the clothing?
First brush some shampoo, shaving cream or lotion on the dirty area for five minutes. Then wash off the stain.
How to keep flower fresh?
Adding a little beer in the vase can keep house flowers fresh for an extended period of time. This is because beer contains alcohol which is both antiseptic and disinfectant. Beer also contains sugar and other nutrients for the leaves.
How to sharpen scissors?
Stacked three aluminum foil together, then cut them with the scissors to be sharpen. You will see surprising result.
How to remove annoying gummed labels?
It is quite annoying when comes to remove the price tags on merchandise. To remove the gummed labels neatly, all you need is to use a hair dryer to apply heat on the label before taking them off.
Remove crayon graffiti from wooden furniture.
If you have kids at home, wooden furniture are subject to crayon graffiti. Crayon stains can not be removed with water. Although the use of paint solvents can do the job, the paint on the surface could be damaged. The most suitable method is to use toothpaste. Not only it cleans, it does no harm to the furniture.
Use vinegar to help mopping the kitchen floor.
The kitchen floor is often easy to get greasy. Before mopping the kitchen floor, pour some vinegar on the mop. This will enable easy remove of grease.
How to remove stains from tea cups?
Stained tea cups can affect their appearance. To clean up the stain with a man made loofah cloth the cups would have scratches in the long run. Just spread a little toothpaste and hand-wash the cups, stain can be removed easily. If the stain is too thick, wait a few minutes after applying toothpaste before washing.
Improved floor sweeping
The unused stockings can be attached to a broom to clean the floor. Stockings can help sweeping up cotton, hair and other particles that are difficult to sweep with an ordinary broom.
( Like me !!!!!!! )
________________________________________
Little Secrets In Daily Life
Keeping tofu firm
In the cooking process, soft tofu is very easy to break into pieces. If you want to maintain the integrity of tofu, you can soak it in salt water for about 30 minutes before cooking.
Soup is too salty
If this happens, the remedy is to add cooked potato pieces for few minutes. The potato will absorb the salt. Before soup is served remove the potatoes.
Soak a little vinegar before cutting yam/taros
Cutting taro can make your hands itching. Soaking your hands in vinegar before cutting taros will prevent itching.
How to remove the wax from an apple?
If you often eat apples with their skin, then you would need to remove the wax first before eating ....
(a) place the apple into hot water, the apple's wax will vanish.
(b) Apply toothpaste on the apple to clean out the wax.
How to make good rice?
After washing rice in water, add a few drops of lemon juice, (or a few drops of oil), cooked rice will turn out good and fragrant.
How to keep biscuits crispy?
When storing biscuits in a container, put a sugar cube in it at the same time. As the sugar absorbs the moisture in the container, biscuits or cookies can remain crispy and delicious.
What can be done if clothing stains with ink?
If ink gets on your clothing or fabric, you can use cooked rice or paste with a little detergent to remove the stain. Use your fingers to smear repeatedly on the spot, stain can be removed quickly. Then soak it into fresh water with ordinary cleaning agent for a period of time before washing.
How to treat smelly shoes?
Put a small amount of baking soda directly into the boots, sneakers or shoes, that are obviously smelly due to dampness. Baking soda powder has the effect of absorbing moisture and odor.
Ring around the collar, or spotty under the armpit area of the clothing?
First brush some shampoo, shaving cream or lotion on the dirty area for five minutes. Then wash off the stain.
How to keep flower fresh?
Adding a little beer in the vase can keep house flowers fresh for an extended period of time. This is because beer contains alcohol which is both antiseptic and disinfectant. Beer also contains sugar and other nutrients for the leaves.
How to sharpen scissors?
Stacked three aluminum foil together, then cut them with the scissors to be sharpen. You will see surprising result.
How to remove annoying gummed labels?
It is quite annoying when comes to remove the price tags on merchandise. To remove the gummed labels neatly, all you need is to use a hair dryer to apply heat on the label before taking them off.
Remove crayon graffiti from wooden furniture.
If you have kids at home, wooden furniture are subject to crayon graffiti. Crayon stains can not be removed with water. Although the use of paint solvents can do the job, the paint on the surface could be damaged. The most suitable method is to use toothpaste. Not only it cleans, it does no harm to the furniture.
Use vinegar to help mopping the kitchen floor.
The kitchen floor is often easy to get greasy. Before mopping the kitchen floor, pour some vinegar on the mop. This will enable easy remove of grease.
How to remove stains from tea cups?
Stained tea cups can affect their appearance. To clean up the stain with a man made loofah cloth the cups would have scratches in the long run. Just spread a little toothpaste and hand-wash the cups, stain can be removed easily. If the stain is too thick, wait a few minutes after applying toothpaste before washing.
Improved floor sweeping
The unused stockings can be attached to a broom to clean the floor. Stockings can help sweeping up cotton, hair and other particles that are difficult to sweep with an ordinary broom.
17 Tips to Double Your Productivity in 14 Days
I wanted to share 17 of the tactics I've learned that I know will help you lean into your productive best in this age of dramatic distraction:
1. Turn off all technology for 60 minutes a day and focus on doing your most important work.
2. Work in 90 minute cycles (tons of science is now confirming that this is the optimal work to rest ratio).
3. Start your day with at least 30 minutes of exercise.
4. Don't check your email first thing in the morning.
5. Turn all your electronic notifications off.
6. Take one day a week as a complete recovery day, to refuel and regenerate (that means no email, no phone calls and zero work). You need full recovery one day a week otherwise you'll start depleting your capabilities.
7. The data says workers are interrupted every 11 minutes. Distractions destroy productivity. Learn to protect your time and say no to interruptions.
8. Schedule every day of your week every Sunday morning. A plan relieves you of the torment of choice (said novelist Saul Bellow). It restores focus and provides energy.
9. Work in blocks of time. Creative geniuses all had 2 things in common: when they worked they were fully engaged and when they worked, they worked with this deep concentration for long periods of time. Rare in this world of entrepreneurs who can't sit still.
10. Drink a liter of water early every morning. We wake up dehydrated. The most precious asset of an entrepreneur isn't time - it's energy. Water restores it.
11. Don't answer your phone every time it rings.
12. Invest in your professional development so you bring more value to the hours you work.
13. Avoid gossip and time vampires.
14. Touch paper just once.
15. Keep a "Stop Doing List".
16. Get up at 5 am.
17. Have meetings standing up.
Stay Productive and Make Your Work Matter!
1. Turn off all technology for 60 minutes a day and focus on doing your most important work.
2. Work in 90 minute cycles (tons of science is now confirming that this is the optimal work to rest ratio).
3. Start your day with at least 30 minutes of exercise.
4. Don't check your email first thing in the morning.
5. Turn all your electronic notifications off.
6. Take one day a week as a complete recovery day, to refuel and regenerate (that means no email, no phone calls and zero work). You need full recovery one day a week otherwise you'll start depleting your capabilities.
7. The data says workers are interrupted every 11 minutes. Distractions destroy productivity. Learn to protect your time and say no to interruptions.
8. Schedule every day of your week every Sunday morning. A plan relieves you of the torment of choice (said novelist Saul Bellow). It restores focus and provides energy.
9. Work in blocks of time. Creative geniuses all had 2 things in common: when they worked they were fully engaged and when they worked, they worked with this deep concentration for long periods of time. Rare in this world of entrepreneurs who can't sit still.
10. Drink a liter of water early every morning. We wake up dehydrated. The most precious asset of an entrepreneur isn't time - it's energy. Water restores it.
11. Don't answer your phone every time it rings.
12. Invest in your professional development so you bring more value to the hours you work.
13. Avoid gossip and time vampires.
14. Touch paper just once.
15. Keep a "Stop Doing List".
16. Get up at 5 am.
17. Have meetings standing up.
Stay Productive and Make Your Work Matter!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
New Way of Stealing ...
You Are Warned ! !
ESPECIALLY LOOK AT SCENE THREE...
Be sure to read Scene 3. Quite interesting.
This is a new one. People sure stay busy trying to cheat us, don't they?
SCENE 1
A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself, 'Funny, I thought I locked the locker..
Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order.
Everything looked okay - all cards were in place....
A few weeks later his credit card bill& nbsp;came - a whooping bill of $14,000!
He called the credit card company and started yelling at them, saying that he did not make the transactions.
Customer care personnel verified that there was no mistake in the system and asked if his card had been stolen...
'No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep - you guessed it - a switch had been made.
An expired similar credit card from the same bank was in the wallet.
The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched c ards.
Verdict: The credit card issuer said since he did not report the card missing earlier, he would have to pay the amount owed to them.
How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy?
$9,000! Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped? Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' with some credit card companies. It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to big one!
============================
SCENE 2.
A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.
The bill for the meal came, he signed it and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along.
Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person.
He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.
She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man.
All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card.
No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apo logy..
Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.
Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away for even a short period of time.
Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.
FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT
OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A
TRANSACTION!
==========================
SCENE 3:
Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to pick up an order that I had called in.
I paid by using my Visa Check Card which, of course, is linked directly to my checking Account.
The young man behind the counter took my card, swiped it, and then laid it on the counter as he waited for the approval, which is pretty standard procedure.
While he waited, he picked up his cell phone and started dialing.
I noticed the phone because it is the same model I have, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Then I heard a click that sounded like my phone sounds when I take a picture.
He then gave me back my card but kept the phone in his hand as if he was still pressing buttons.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was really going on.
It then dawned on me: the only thing there was my credit card, so now I'm paying close attention to what he is doing..
He set his phone on the counter, leaving it open.
About five seconds later, I heard the chime that tells you that the picture has been saved.
Now I'm standing there struggling with the fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.
Yes, he played it off well, because had we not had the same kind of phone, I probably would never have known what happened.
Needless to say, I immediately cancelled that card as I was walking out of the pizza parlor.
All I am saying is, be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Whenever you are using your credit card take caution and don't be careless.
Notice who is standing near you and what they are doing when you use your card.
Be aware of phones, because many have a camera phone these days.
FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN THINK OF. LET'S GET THE
WORD OUT! JUST BE AWARE
Never let your card out of your sight.....check and check again!
Scary isn't it.....
ESPECIALLY LOOK AT SCENE THREE...
Be sure to read Scene 3. Quite interesting.
This is a new one. People sure stay busy trying to cheat us, don't they?
SCENE 1
A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself, 'Funny, I thought I locked the locker..
Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order.
Everything looked okay - all cards were in place....
A few weeks later his credit card bill& nbsp;came - a whooping bill of $14,000!
He called the credit card company and started yelling at them, saying that he did not make the transactions.
Customer care personnel verified that there was no mistake in the system and asked if his card had been stolen...
'No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep - you guessed it - a switch had been made.
An expired similar credit card from the same bank was in the wallet.
The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched c ards.
Verdict: The credit card issuer said since he did not report the card missing earlier, he would have to pay the amount owed to them.
How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy?
$9,000! Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped? Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' with some credit card companies. It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to big one!
============================
SCENE 2.
A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.
The bill for the meal came, he signed it and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along.
Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person.
He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.
She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man.
All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card.
No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apo logy..
Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.
Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away for even a short period of time.
Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.
FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT
OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A
TRANSACTION!
==========================
SCENE 3:
Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to pick up an order that I had called in.
I paid by using my Visa Check Card which, of course, is linked directly to my checking Account.
The young man behind the counter took my card, swiped it, and then laid it on the counter as he waited for the approval, which is pretty standard procedure.
While he waited, he picked up his cell phone and started dialing.
I noticed the phone because it is the same model I have, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Then I heard a click that sounded like my phone sounds when I take a picture.
He then gave me back my card but kept the phone in his hand as if he was still pressing buttons.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was really going on.
It then dawned on me: the only thing there was my credit card, so now I'm paying close attention to what he is doing..
He set his phone on the counter, leaving it open.
About five seconds later, I heard the chime that tells you that the picture has been saved.
Now I'm standing there struggling with the fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.
Yes, he played it off well, because had we not had the same kind of phone, I probably would never have known what happened.
Needless to say, I immediately cancelled that card as I was walking out of the pizza parlor.
All I am saying is, be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Whenever you are using your credit card take caution and don't be careless.
Notice who is standing near you and what they are doing when you use your card.
Be aware of phones, because many have a camera phone these days.
FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN THINK OF. LET'S GET THE
WORD OUT! JUST BE AWARE
Never let your card out of your sight.....check and check again!
Scary isn't it.....
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